Mental Contrasting for Habit Success

How often have you tried to reach a goal or to change a habit, only to be sidelined within a few short weeks by factors out of your control?

-You plan to exercise 3 days a week, but are missing most of your workouts a month into your new regimen.

-You vowed to delegate more at work only to be caught in the weeds during the first or second "fire drill."

-You want to be more present for your family, but you're constantly reaching for your phone when you're with them (we'll talk more about our phones next week).

Likely, this has happened to you more often than not. Habits are hard to change.

Luckily, there are several research based strategies that will support your hard work -  leading you to success in your desire to adapt your behavior in a direction that aligns with your values.

Here's one of my favorites: Mental Contrasting

One of the biggest reasons we fail to change our habits is because we do not spend enough time anticipating setbacks or challenges.

Setbacks come in many forms:

-It isn't just that we're too tired to wake up for our workout, it's also the fact that we don't fully believe that working out will lead to a real change in our health.

-It's possible that the work "emergency" really was an emergency, but it could also be true that we don't want to let go of control.

-Yes, we all have a slight addiction to our phone, but it could also be the case that spending time with our family - having to engage them emotionally after a long day - feels uncomfortable.

Good intentions are not enough to change our habits.

While it is important to declare your intentions to change your habits, and it is helpful to "visualize" what you want to achieve, research shows that you also need to consider and anticipate the obstacles that will come your way.   And that process is mental contrasting.

Psychologist Gabriele Oettingen, who runs the Motivation Lab at NYU, has demonstrated the importance of "mental contrasting" in its ability to affect whether or not you reach your goals.  As she’s demonstrated, anticipating obstacles leads to a greater level of commitment to your goals, and helps you form a contingency plan for when you're too tired to work out, a work fire emerges, or you feel discomfort when trying to be present with your loved ones.

 In short, it's not enough to visualize success.  You also need to visualize the obstacles to your success.  Then you create a  contingency plan for those obstacles.

(One note here - believing in your ability to succeed in your goals is a critical part of the formula - more on that in February!)

The simplest way to create your plan is to use this basic formula: If X happens, then I will do Y.

Here are some of mine:

-If I don't want to wake up for my early morning workout, I will stand in my bathroom for at least one minute before going back and remind myself that I've never regretted a workout.

 -If I’m derailed from my daily work objectives by an unavoidable shift in my or a client's schedule, I’ll immediately reprioritize my day (and the following day, if necessary) to ensure those tasks are completed within a reasonable timeline.

 -When I come across a task that is not mission critical, that I know someone else can do, I will delegate it and check back in later.

 -When I am bored or frustrated during play with my children, I will remember that I have a fun-loving side to me and that this is the time to let it come out to play.

It’s YOUR turn!  What's your mental contrasting contingency plan?